So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
