Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
