i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
ttyl tear gas
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
