If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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