Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
