I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
He felt like a one man threesome
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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