its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
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