Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
