I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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