her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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