did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
