And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
