it wasn't lemon gatorade
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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