Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize