girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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