Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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