You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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