okay pat passed out under dana's car
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
