there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
