We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
