You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
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