God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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