when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
