I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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