I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
