he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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