Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
