Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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