We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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