I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
