Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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