If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
