Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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