so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
