Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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