On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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