He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
well you can't waste a boner
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
