can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize