I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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