so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
