It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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