After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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