I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize