Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
