What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
