I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize