mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
