I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize