so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
