we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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