This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
