so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Enjoy the penises
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
