I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
