Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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