Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
