Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
