I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize