My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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