i don't like sucking hair
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
