it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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