hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
