Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
