you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
