my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
