we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
