Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i think i have herpe
just one?
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
