i wish starbucks made bloody marys
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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